Open Question: What do you do if you told a big lie and can't get out of it?

8 September 2010, 5:20 pm

I told everyone at my work I am sick with a chronic condition because I got scabies (skin bugs) and I do not want everyone to find out why I was really sick. Now I created a lying hell for myself I am lying evreyday about my "condition" I really did get sick it is just not what they think it is I am so broken after having scabies. I lost my last job and most of my so called friends because no one wants to be around someone how has bugs. I do not even know how I got them i just got really sick most people who get them as bad as i did have H.I.V. or cancer I do not. I do not know why I got so sick I am so depressed I want to kill myself. I dated a guy for about three months he told me he met someone else I think he found out things about me from my other job he thinks I am crazy I feel really crazy. i told him i wanted to kill myself because I cannot stop thinking about him. I do not know why I am so broken by losing him he doesn't even like me or care about me, why do I care about him. I think me being sick has really affected my mental stability. I would never have acted the way I do now before I got sick. I do not want to do anything I have very little hope and I cry a lot. I feel like everything is the end of the world and I just want to freak out all the time. I have alienated myself from my friends and family that I have left and I cannot stop thinking I have nothing left. I need to stop lying and start being okay again. I need help I have gone to a counciler but I felt I was being judged by her and was to scared to tell her about the scabies and all of the lies. I need help I do not want to kill myself but I am so broken what else can I do I can not tell everyone I lied because I had skin bugs and I do not want to live a lie and I cannot get away from it and my other problems. I just get so low I think I have no choices, and I cannot see the ones I have working out to me being okay. I really need to find a low income counciler in the Denver Colorado area. If anyone knows a place for me to start I do not want to be on a hold for three days I just want to talk to someone I can trust and i do not feel judged by.... Read More »

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